Shadow of the Day
by Lathan Lover
Summary: Based on the latest events of season 5. Nathan is left heartbroken, and is healed by an unexpected person. Warnings for MM Slash, Incest & Language.


Disclaimer: I do not own the tv show One Tree Hill that this fanfiction is written for, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

A/N: This story was inspired by a dream I had, as well as how I feel about Lucas at the moment.

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I am Nathan Scott, and I'm in love with my brother.

Or I was. I was starting to believe that getting together with Lucas was not one of my better ideas. We had decided to pursue a relationship with one another in high school. It was a time period where neither of us had a girl on their arms. Brooke was in California, Haley was on tour, and Peyton was hung up over Jake. Lucas and I had only each other for company, which was how our relationship started.

It wasn't till a year after high school, that things took an unexpected turn. Lucas started pulling away, pushing me away with different affairs. I finally got fed up, and decided to confront Lucas about it.

Flashback:

"I don't understand. Every time I try and spend time with you, you always seemed to have something come up. Am I not important enough for you to spend your time with anymore?!"

"Come on, Nathan, you know that's not it."

"No I don't! Lately you seem to be too busy for me anymore…are you cheating on me?"

"What? No…"

"Then what's the fucking problem?"

"Come on Nathan, you can't really expect this to work, do you?"

"This?"

"Us."

"Honestly?"

"Yeah."

"It could work if we really wanted it to, if we tried hard enough."

End Flashback.

We both held on to each other that night, and I was under the assumption that everything would be alright, a little awkward, but okay between us. But apparently, as I soon figured out, my words fell on deaf ears, considering Lucas was gone the next morning when I woke up, without so much as a single warning.

Now here I am, three years later, back in Tree Hill. I was offered the position of the coach for the Tree Hill Ravens, with Skills as my assistant coach, to which I took. After receiving an injury during his first season with the Sonics, I was unable to play like I used to anymore, and coaching was the next best thing to having a career in basketball. But since it was an injury caused by someone of the opposing team, I got quite the settlement, so money isn't an issue for me.

I found out through the grapevine that Lucas returned, and he moved back into his childhood home, but not alone. According to Haley, who was now teaching at the high school as well, it was his editor, and girlfriend. Everywhere I went, people kept referring to her as 'Lucas' Lindsey', and already I felt that trouble was on the horizon for me. I did my best, to try and avoid Lucas as much as possible, to steer clear of any tense and awkward situations with my brother and/or his new girlfriend, but fate seemed to have a horrible sense of humor.

It was at a gathering at Tric where Lucas' past and the present collided. Nathan did try his best to elude the happy couple as much as possible, but that's the thing about Lucas, he's proven to be a relentless bastard at the worst of times, and this moment is no exception. But taking into account that I knew this would happen, since I know Lucas so well, I was developing as good enough bullshit story to help me out in case and encounter with the happy couple should occur. Which it did. I was able to leave with minimal effort, which I perceived as mission accomplished.

I was just about to get into the car when Lucas caught up to me. I forgot that Lucas knew me just as well as I knew him, and therefore, was well aware of my fake reason for bolting, even if Lindsey bought it. He started questioning me as to why I've been acting so cold to him and Lindsey, and I could do nothing but stare at him, not really believing he asked such a question. Then he had the audacity to say something along the lines of how he would like for me and Lindsey to become friends, as well as us becoming friends again. I got to tell you…the idea of me being associating myself with my ex's current love interest was not appealing, and neither was being buddy-buddy with Lucas, especially now since I realized that after seeing him again after all this time, I still have feelings for him.

I tried my best to push aside my own feelings for Lucas, to placate everyone. Lord knows we don't need anymore drama. But every moment spend in either on of their presence was slowly killing me inside. It felt like Lucas was practically rubbing his new relationship in my face, and I had had enough. So I decided the only way to kill the feelings I had for him, was total avoidance. If he could pull away from me and use lame excuses about having other things to do, then so could I.

It didn't take long for Lucas to realize I was blowing him off time and time again, though I couldn't help the fact that I gained the satisfaction of finally giving him a taste of his own medicine. I remember that confrontation, it was almost like our last fight, only the roles were reversed.

Flashback:

"Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what Lucas?"

"Pulling away from me. I want to hang out, but lately you've been providing lame ass excuses for bailing."

"Come on Lucas, you can't really expect this to work, do you?"

"What?"

"Us. Friends. I can't do it. I can't just sit there and watch you two, fully knowing how we once were. It hurts too much, and the fact that you don't even care about how I feel just makes this situation even more fucked up, and unbearable. "

"So that's it?, You just give up? Things get a little hard, so you're running away?"

"I don't see why you're having such a big problem with it, you ran away!"

"That was different."

"No, it wasn't. I wasn't asking you to tell everyone about us, just to fight for us, and you couldn't even do that. And now, things have just gotten worse for me."

"What are you talking about, Nathan?"

"I still have feelings for you!"

"Excuse me?"

"I tried to fight it, but the more time I spent with you, the more my feelings for you grew. It hurts to see you with her."

"I love her."

"Do you really love her, or are you with her because she's a woman. Or better yet, are you with her cause she's not your brother. You see, I think you're trying to escape from what you really feel inside. You can lie to others, but not yourself, no matter how hard you try."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Do you still have feelings for me, Lucas?"

End Flashback.

We ended up kissing after I asked him that question, of course his response afterward was that he had to go see Lindsey. Lucas running away again. I can't help be feel surprised that he ran, I felt something in that kiss, and I know he did too. Which is why I find myself at his bedroom doorstep. I'm going to do what he didn't have the guts to do…fight for us. I knock on the door, and when it opens, there is Lindsey, in tears. At first I think Lucas broke it off with her, but then she's smiling and holding up her left. She says Lucas asked her to marry him, and she said yes. I can't help but look at Lucas, hoping that he'll tell me this is all a joke. But his expression tells me otherwise.

I find myself back at home. I know guys tend to be strong and not cry, but I couldn't help it. Lucas broke my heart again. And him proposing to Lindsey is like a major slap in the face. For days on end I didn't bother leaving the house. I wasn't up to talking with anyone, but that was the problem with having friends that care…they won't leave you the hell alone when you want to be. So I unplugged the phone, turned off the cell, locked the doors and windows, and thanked God I did my grocery shopping two days ago, so I didn't have to worry about food.

During my solitude, I tried coming up with ways to deal with this new development between Lucas and myself. It also made me theorize as to why Lucas would suddenly ask Lindsey to marry him. He was scared. He had to be. He doesn't want to deal with his feelings for me. I feel bad for Lindsey, cause I don't think he really loves her, and is using her as an escape, and I'm pretty sure she'll be smart enough to figure it out.

The question is, how do I deal with Lucas?

The answer is simple. I was going to take a page out the Lucas Scott book…run. What, he can run from his problems, but I can't? And I'd rather run, than having to watch them together any longer. Even as I'm saying this, I'm packing as much as I can carry. Within 20 minutes, I'm driving past the 'Leaving Tree Hill' sign. I'm not sure how far away I am to Tree Hill, but I don't stop unless I absolutely have to, and I end up doing so for two reasons, one, I was getting low on gas, and two, in my desperate need to get as far away from Tree Hill as possible, food wasn't really a concern until now, and my hunger finally caught up to me.

I decide to get gas first before searching for a place to eat, and the only eating establishment that looks sanitary is a Denny's. After seating myself and ordering breakfast, I turn my cell back on and check the messages. A couple were from the school, just as many were from Skills, one or two from the girls, and an alarming amount were from Lucas. I'm shocked, but at the same time, not really surprised. It doesn't matter though, I don't think I could handle whatever he has to say anymore. I delete all the messages, and decide to call the school, telling them that I quit, and to give the coaching position to Skills. I call the girls to let them know I'm fine, and I won't be returning, at least not any time soon. And finally after finish talking to Haley, I delete Lucas' number from my phone.

The waitress arrives again with my food, but for some reason, despite what my stomach wants, playing with my food seems more appealing than actually eating it. It dawns on me that I just left everything behind without a second thought, and I just can't seem to care.

"You know, food's meant to be eaten, not played with." came an amused voice.

I look up to find one of the most gorgeous men I have ever laid eyes on.

"I was hungry, but now…not so much." I respond.

"You not feeling well?"

"Haven't been for a while I guess."

The man nodded.

"You here by yourself?"

"Yep, I'm on my own."

"What a coincidence, me too." The man grinned, "Mind if I join ya? This place is kinda' packed."

I look around to find that that's not really the case, far from it actually, the place is practically barren. The fact that this attractive guy wants to sit and have a meal with me makes me feel pretty good, and I can use something to lift my mood right now. Anything to help me forget.

"Sure, I can use the company."

The man smiles an incredibly beautiful smile and proceeds to sit down. But instead of sitting across from me, he chooses to sit right next to me. I can't help but laugh at his brazen nature.

"So, you got a name?" he asks.

"Everyone does." I say smartly, to which he laughs.

"A smartass. I like that."

"Thank you."

"But seriously, is there a specific name you like to be called, or do I come up with my own name for ya?"

I smile at him, and hold out my hand, "I'm Nathan."

He returns the gesture and replies, "Hello, Nathan. Nice to meet you."

Two years later…

Part of me still can't believe I'm here, but I was told it could help to exercise any demons I had left. So, here I am, back in Tree Hill after two years of leaving. And leaving was the best thing I could have done. That morning at Denny's two years ago changed my life. The man and I eat and talked for several hours, before we decided to hit the road. He went one way, I went the other. What's amazing is, we kept bumping into each other, from time to time. The bar in Denver, the Starbucks in Seattle, and the gas station in San Diego, each time enjoying one another's company in more ways than one. But it was our unexpected rendezvous in a casino in Reno that changed things for us. As luck would have it, not only were we staying in the same motel in Reno, but our rooms were right next to each other. We got to talking and by the end of our stay, our string of one-night stands became a full blown relationship. I sold my car so that we could travel together from now on. We've been together ever since.

We helped each other fill the void that was created by our former lovers. He understood me in a way no one else does, and I found it baffling that anyone would want to break this man's heart. He's fiercely loyal and dependable. He would give his life for the ones he loves. He was the one who suggested I return to my hometown; said it was the only way to completely move on. I didn't want to, but chose to honor his wishes.

I was walking around town, noticing that Tree Hill had very little changes, apart from the fact that Brooke's clothing store seemed more successful, and Tric has been fully re-modeled to where it's half club/bar, and half record label, owned by Peyton. Everything else was the same. Even the river court. Our faded names are still sprayed on the concrete, written during a time when we all were waiting to take on the challenges life has to offer after high school, with out heads held high.

"Nathan?"

I visibly stiffen at the sound of that voice. Though to be honest, I knew coming here would mean encountering him sooner or later. I turned around, to stare at the man that has caused me so much heartache in the past.

"Lucas."

"You look incredible." he was staring at me in awe. I decided I wanted a more mature look, so I let my hair grow down to my shoulders, and laid off on the shaving so much.

"Uh, thanks. But I doubt your wife would approve of such a comment." And surprisingly, that comment didn't come out scathingly.

"I'm not married." Lucas said while looking down at his feet.

"Oh?"

"Lindsey left me at the altar. She said she couldn't marry someone who's heart wasn't in it." Huh, I knew she would figure it out, though I'm shocked their relationship lasted till their wedding day.

"I don't know what to say." Which isn't true, but that doesn't matter anymore.

"I'm so sorry, Nathan. Lindsey was right, my heart wasn't into our relationship, and I loved someone else more. Though, she thought it was Peyton…"

"No, she wanted you to think she thought it was Peyton. She knew full well who you were in love with."

"How do you know?"

"She's a smart girl. Plus, my reaction to you proposing to her would have been a dead giveaway."

"The point is, I never should have ended things with you to begin with."

"Lucas…" Crap, I knew where he was going with this.

"Can you ever forgive me?"

"I already have man." I told him honestly, because I did. Staying mad at someone is physically and emotionally draining, and it's wasted energy.

"Do you think we could, I don't know…try again" he looked at me hopefully as he stepped closer.

Lucas will always be my first true love. We may have been brothers, but we made it work with the time we had together, at least until the end. Looking back, I realized that Lucas isn't really mature enough to handle an adult relationship, and until he grows up, he never will. Every person he's been with, he's cheated on with. He cheated on Brooke with Peyton, Peyton with Nikki, Lindsey with me, and I'm willing to bet he cheated on me while we were in love. When we were together, I'd always dream of us starting a family together, adopting kids who need a loving home, and growing old together. But the man before me altered those dreams. I still dream of having kids and growing old with my lover. But it's no longer Lucas in those dreams.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you're too late."

"Nathan?" I hear someone call out, and I smile. I may have come back to Tree Hill, but I didn't come alone. My lover came up and gave me a kiss.

Lucas looks at me questioningly, failing to mask the hurt that I see cross his face. I don't want to hurt him like this, but he has to realize that he had his chance and he blew it. But in the end, his rejection gave me something more. Someone who could love me unconditionally without running away when things got bad. In fact my lover is the complete opposite.

I decided introductions are in order.

"I'm sorry, where are my manners. Lucas, I'd like you to meet my husband…Dean Winchester-Scott." I said, putting an arm around Dean's waist and looking at him lovingly.

I am Nathan Scott-Winchester, and I am in love with my husband.

The End.


End file.
